The Living Truth
Who is “right”? What is “right”?
These are deceptively difficult questions. And I would argue the wrong ones.
We all experience life subjectively and have perspectives that make the world appear to us in certain ways. Different factors (vantage, mood, personal history) can influence what comes across as “right” at any given time. Some of these factors are conscious, some unconscious. Some arguments sit on unexamined beliefs that are false or flawed beyond comprehension.
In the last year, I’ve seen how much ethics are politicized and factions are created through these assertions of what’s right and what’s wrong. There’s an ‘us’ who are right and a ‘them’ who are wrong and that’s that. Period.
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I certainly didn’t expect to become a conservative when I went to the last pro basketball game on March 12, 2020. But the 16 months since have been one of the largest psychological and emotional growth spurts of my life. I didn’t know what was coming (both without and within), and I know I wasn’t alone in unexpectedly having my priorities and values thoroughly shaken, questioned and altered.
I’m still trying to understand my own beliefs, where they come from, and how they interplay with larger public mindsets, ideologies, and points of view. But I am starting to consider that what we believe is less important than how we believe. ‘Right’ is more of a behavior or process than a static position. We can’t ever really stop engaging with these practices and questions. Even the most benign rapidly become stale, disfigured and toxic if left unattended.
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I’m noticing that the people I’m drawn to lately willingly immerse in this dynamic psycho-spiritual process; they’re not robots spouting ideology. They feel incredibly safe to be around, because I know we can talk about anything. Ideas are welcome with people who engage in the process of thought, it doesn’t represent danger or hate or evil. It represents an opportunity to explore new angles and strengthen or dispense with concepts. It’s a platform for learning and it builds trust that is deeper than any trust I have known.
I no longer feel as comfortable around ideologues who bristle at certain topics, their righteousness strikes me as a fragile shell that isn’t supported by the practice of critical thought. This dynamic is painfully (but importantly) played out in Steven Crowder’s “Change My Mind” series. I was probably too protective of my ego to ever sit down with someone like him when I held opposing beliefs, but I see aspects of myself in the people who do. That bewildered and entitled sense that ‘only an idiot could disagree with me’, while I regurgitated data and takes that I had picked up from sound bites or articles with an agenda. When pushed, I didn’t really know why I believed the things I did. But at that point, I was often relying on these standalone ideas vs. my own process of learning.
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I heard on a podcast recently that shows on mainstream media are often exposing us to new concepts or stories, but rather than give us meaningful information and letting the audience make up our own minds, they also provide a specific way of looking at said topic. It’s ‘pre-packaged’ ideas, and it’s very convenient. We are spared the complex task of thinking something through, verifying data or sources, and gauging the merit of ideas for ourselves.
But the cost of this convenience is our forfeit of the process of growing. We may even have ‘right’ ideas, but we came to them by default and that actually weakens our character. We aren’t tied to the whole process– the prep and the arena, the outcome and the aftermath. I don’t know if we always have to learn things the hard way, I would like to think there is some way to a deep, abiding wisdom that didn’t come with so much blood, sweat and tears. But I simply have not found that to be the case.
And it’s not a purely mental exercise. We also have these bodily, intuitive senses of right and wrong, or good and evil. I tend to give my body the benefit of the doubt in many of these situations, at least at first. But even this astonishing instrument takes practice to tune and interpret. Do we really need rest or are we being lazy? Is this a sign of legitimate danger or nerves over a new experience? We may never be able to truly articulate it, but it’s worth delving deeper into our instinctive responses with curiosity. Perhaps it will give us new skills to work on or ways to look at things that seemed unsettled.
The process is a combination of research, reflection, conversation and writing, and finally of asserting ourselves in the world. It is difficult and laborious. And as I engage in it, I am understanding in a way I never have how important the constitutional concept of free speech is. Having swaths of territory we can’t touch with our words is poisonous for creativity or growth, for building foundations that can withstand truly hard times.
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But lest it sound like all work and no play, I should also let you in on the secret that it is incredibly rewarding and delicious. It’s like a meal prepared from tomatoes and parsley from your own garden, mushrooms foraged in the foothills, wild boar ragù hunted by a dear friend, and wine from your neighbor’s vineyard. It is effort… but my god, is it worth it.
And it creates a steadiness and resilience in each individual who participates that the world benefits from, profoundly. It is a vital process, one of the true pleasures of being human.
The truth is a living undertaking, one done with good intentions, attention and effort while we are in this miraculous state of being alive.
May we all make the difficult choice to engage while we have another breath to take.
